For years, my family and I have used a fabric re-usable advent calendar. As a child, it was one of my favourite parts of the Christmas season and I was keen to recreate this with my children. My grandmother always sent a beautiful advent calendar over from Germany, and us children would delight in taking turns to open the little windows.
In the advent calendar I use, there are pockets for putting in little goodies. My younger daughter was rather delighted when she realised recently that with her big sister now at uni, that was one less person to partake in the advent treats!
But what sort of mother would I be if I didn’t put some Advent love in the post for the daughter who is far away across the land but always close in my heart?
For twelves years, I edited the holistic parenting magazine The Mother.
I’m excited to bring you a huge collection of podcasts (the largest of its kind anywhere!) based on all the topics I had the pleasure of exploring and/experiencing, both as an editor and as a holistic parent.
I will be launching in December, with weekly podcasts added to the collection. I hope you enjoy them! Love, Veronika xxxxxx
In December I’m launching my series of meditations: Five-Minute Meditations, on an assortment of themes.
Many people know that meditation removes stress and brings inner calm, but at the same time they’ll say that they don’t have time to meditate or don’t know how.
My guided meditations are just five minutes long, and can be fitted into the day of the busiest person.
I will walk you through the meditation and take you to a peaceful and calm place.
These meditations will balance the emotions, calm the physical body and ease psychological distress.
Regular meditation may also help your problem-solving abilities as well as enhance your creativity. Studies show that it can slow the aging process, improve learning, and offer restful sleep. These meditations will teach you how to live in the present moment.
Five minutes a day dedicated to gentle relaxation, guided meditation and positive affirmations can change your life. Baby steps lead to quantum leaps.
I invite you to join me, Veronika Sophia Robinson, for five minutes a day.
Instinctive parenting: is it an art or science? To parent instinctively means being in tune with your body and that of your baby/child. Is this an art or a science? Actually, it’s both.
There’s an art to listening to your heart and the way your baby communicates with you, rather than listening to the call of our culture which rewards mother and child separation. An artist must believe in their calling; their life’s work.
Each day they must develop skills and build upon their talent. A bonded mother instinctively knows what is best for her family in the same way an artist knows which colour or shade works for his creation.
The science of instinctive parenting shows that, as mammals, we’re meant to nurture our offspring biologically, at the breast, for at least the first few years of life.
Nature designed us to carry our helpless infants throughout the day until they’re ready to begin crawling. By carrying them against our bodies throughout the day, their muscles work against ours; this helps them to become strong as well as offering them the chance to discharge some of their own energy. It builds their immune system, as well as encouraging healthy brain development when they have a regular ‘face’ to engage with throughout the day.
As mammals, we’re designed to sleep with our babies rather than place them behind bars and away from us.
When science and art meet seamlessly we call this conscious, connected parenting.
The needs of modern babies are exactly the same as those born in the Stone Age:
[] to be birthed peacefully, gently and in private, with natural smells and muffled noises
[] to be held by the mother, and hear her heartbeat immediately after birth
[] to be breastfed, on cue, full term
[] to be carried throughout the day
[] to be slept with at night so the mother’s and baby’s heartbeat and breathing can synchronise
[] to be actively part of family/community life
[] to live in the natural ‘field’ rather than the modern-day electro-magnetic one of wi-fi, electrical equipment, computers, mobile phones, etc.
[] To be connected to Nature
It’s understood that human babies are born about nine months ‘early’, which means they need the first nine months of life ‘in-arms’ to provide an optimal external gestation. The in-utero needs of warmth, movement, food and connection are now met by being carried all day, slept with at night, breastfed on cue (not demand), and by the mother living her life. Constant caregiving by the mother should ensure that all needs of the baby are met almost instantly. The fields of science, anthropology and medicine recognise that this traditional way of nurturing babies is best for short and long-term physical, emotional and psychological health and well-being. This is commonly known as attachment parenting, but is more suitably described as intact parenting.
The needs of our growing children and teenagers are the same as those of Stone Age children:
[] To live in awe and celebration of the natural world
[] to climb trees, swim in lakes, cross rivers, climb rocks and hills, see the sunrise and sunset, the Moon, stars and visible planets
[] to eat natural, living wholefoods and drinks
[] to exercise all muscles of the body every day
[] to understand survival skills
[] to feel the Sun, rain and earth on their skin
Their bodies were never designed, and haven’t adapted to, sitting for hours on Facebook, ipads, iphones and YouTube, and eating deadened processed foods and drinks.
Do parents who wish to raise their children in a more natural way to the mainstream face an impossible task? Only if they let culture pull them away from their art and from Nature’s science.
The Powerful and The Empowered By Veronika Sophia Robinson
When it comes to defining joyous birth, it’s important to understand the role of power.
I believe the difference between an interfered-with birth, and a joyous ‘hands-off’ birth, is fear. Fear can come from a deep primal urge in the old brain, or from our centre of logic (the neocortex or new brain) ~ a place where we try to make sense of the unexplainable. Our ego freaks out when it can’t control the information. Taming our powerful ego empowers us.
In the dominant cultural model of birth, the leading actor is The Powerful One who ‘delivers’ our baby. In the sub-culture of joyous, autonomous birth, the leading role is played by The Empowered One. Indeed, there is no place for The Powerful One in this culture.
Never will you find such different characters. In fact, they are so diametrically opposed, that you would never find them both in the same room ~ much less on the same birthing stage. The only connection might be if, through the performance of The Powerful One, a woman becomes transformed, at a later time, into The Empowered One.
Their props, their scripts, their guiding drive are contradictory.
The Powerful One becomes so through domination. He conquers the other characters by taking charge of the stage and wielding tools which say “I am in charge”. He is defined by his use of three specific tools. They are light, language and observation. Whether he is conscious of this or not, is irrelevant, because as soon as they are introduced into the delivery room, his status is confirmed.
Light is the enemy of every birthing woman. It stimulates her ‘new brain’ and changes the course of labour. Her mammalian instincts wish to seek out the dark, but The Powerful One shines a laser beam on her, freezing her in time like a startled rabbit in headlights.
He controls her by his use of language which actives her neocortex (new brain). While this is engaged and stimulated she is incapable of slipping into her old brain ~ the very place she needs to be in order to birth instinctively.
The Powerful One stands guard over the woman whose baby he’s delivering. If he can’t be there, he sends others to guard her. Their eyes ensure that she can’t escape. She is watched. Her every movement observed. She is ‘held in place’ by their paranoia. Privacy is the number one need of every birthing woman. The Powerful One ignores and denies this, keeping a woman prisoner in her ‘new brain’ so she can’t birth without his ‘help’.
Light, language and observation ~ the three deadly enemies of joyous birth.
And what of The Empowered One? What would she make of these tools? She’s a wise woman who, like the three wise monkeys, has her own mantra:
See no light
Hear no talk
Allow no eyes
The Empowered One is a woman who honours the ancient tradition of birthing. She creates a birthing nest of dimmed light, if not complete darkness. The external language of choice is non-vaginal touch, or music and gentle singing, as she slips into her birthing zone. If she chooses to have her lover or anyone else with her she lets them know beforehand that eye contact is another form of power, of control. The support she seeks is of skin contact, and being held from behind. Beware of any man or midwife who demands or encourages you to look into their eyes while you’re birthing. Contrary to our culture’s childbirth classes, they are stealing your inner power. Remember, our eyes are the mirror of our soul. When we’re birthing, our soul needs to rise ‘upwards’ and greet the new soul who is coming Earthside, not to be distracted by someone else’s needs.
The Birthkeepers
The Empowered one is clear to her supporter that all the power she needs for birthing is within her, and that ‘coaching’ of any description defies what is innate within her. The instinct to give birth is always heard by those with ears to hear. Sadly, joyous birth is inaudible to The Powerful One.
It has been said that ‘when the power of love overcomes the love of power, there shall be peace.’ It has also been said that ‘peace on earth begins with birth’. True power and true peace are internal and can never be found outside of ourselves. The Empowered One is a woman whose power is always internal. Instinct is beyond anyone’s control. It can’t be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen. Perhaps that’s why it terrifies the medical world so much?
The Powerful One requires tools and gimmicks and fear to ‘create’ his power ~ something which is always external, and therefore, transient.
The power of love which is alive in The Empowered One can teach us more about birth that any medical text book. Love and fear can’t co-exist. They are opposites. In a study of 500 tribal cultures, the researchers found no evidence of any pain or death in childbirth. Prematurity and stillbirth were extremely rare, as was malpresentation. We’ve been inculturated with the idea that birth is painful, dangerous and deadly. I agree. It is painful, dangerous and deadly IF, and only if, we allow The Powerful One into our birthing space; if we give away our crucial mammalian need for privacy.
If you’re seeking a joyous birth, look no further than you and your baby for all the power, love and support you need.
Seconds after giving birth at home, by candlelight and Mozart, to my daughter Bethany.
In issue 3 of Starflower Living magazine, I wrote a piece on mandalas as therapy. I am particularly drawn to the idea of the circle, and the importance of a baby always having access to a face. When we make nature mandalas, this helps us tap in to the innate need we have to connect with the Cosmos.
http://www.starflowerpress.com/living/index.shtml
Starflower Living magazine is publishing every New Moon. Just £2.50 per issue, and instantly downloadable.
For years, my family and I have used a fabric re-usable advent calendar. As a child, it was one of my favourite parts of the Christmas season and I was keen to recreate this with my children. My grandmother always sent a beautiful advent calendar over from Germany, and us children would delight in taking turns to open the little windows.
