honesty Archives - Veronika Sophia Robinson

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Finding Balance During Turbulence

If you’ve ever been on an aeroplane during turbulence, you’ll know how unsettling it can be. Life itself can feel like that too, can’t it? You’re just going along, minding your own business, and then —whoosh!— the air currents become unstable, and you lose your centre!

Recently, I published my book I Create My Day: simple and beautiful ways to create a nourishing life. At its heart, the message is about discovering spiritual grace. It provides the tools for, hopefully, creating less turbulence in your life, and for recognising that you have the inner tools and resources for navigating any turbulence you might fly into on any given day.

For the most part, I have now created a life fairly free of turbulence. However, I live in a world that involves other humans, and this in itself offers just the ingredients that set faulty air currents into motion! I have, many times over the years, been left speechless by what appears, to my mind, a lack of awareness, consideration or respect between humans. For example, if someone says they’ll do something for you, or agrees to arrange something, and then they don’t. Why I still, after all these years, expect people to honour their commitments is beyond me. (laughing). We’re all wired differently, and while integrity, keeping one’s word, honouring sacred space, awareness, taking responsibility, etc., is something I adhere to, I am (still) learning that these are my values and not necessarily anyone else’s.

Turbulence came into my yesterday from easily six different sources. I found myself reacting emotionally in ways that weren’t pleasant for my body, and at complete odds with the centred, balanced place within that I have strived to create more and more with each passing day. I found myself becoming increasingly angry because other people were acting in ways that were, at best, inconsiderate and selfish. But, you know what? The only person suffering was me.

Do I feel any different today? Yes, I do, and this is because of two things:
1.) I gave thanks. I truly expressed gratitude for each of those situations, even though they are not what I expected or would have consciously chosen.

2.) I remembered my golden rule of: every thought and feeling is a choice. No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel.

So, yes, while I still have disbelief surrounding the way some people can be, I honour my well-being enough to ‘let it go’. Again and again, I come back to: what will be will be. What is, is.

I Create My Day (paperback & Kindle)

It is so much nicer to fly when you see the clouds or country below you, and all is calm. Compared to the adrenalin rush and instability of turbulence, I know which I’d rather choose. I choose peace. I choose love. I choose calm. I choose forgiveness. And always, every single time, I choose gratitude.

July 6, 2016/0 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

Uncategorized

A new script for marriage

“All marriages have difficulties.” “All couples fight.” “The make-up sex is fantastic.” So, what’s your story about marriage? Was it something you learnt from your parents or did you choose a different way to love?

I don’t resonate with any of the quotes above. To me, it’s like saying “birth is painful and dangerous”. Maybe that’s your experience, but that doesn’t mean it is the same for every woman on the planet. And just as more and more women are discovering that birth can be joyous, pleasurable, painless and ecstatic, so too will people discover that by bringing conscious awareness to the path of marriage, and recognising both ‘self’ and ‘other’, their script doesn’t need to mimic other people’s less than pleasant (and often destructive) experiences.

What do you bring to marriage? What is your fundamental belief about being in a long-term commitment? Does it fill you with fear or delight? Does it speak of entrapment? Or freedom? Do you feel comfortable being vulnerable and honest?

While each of us is our own person, and has our own beliefs, when we are in a relationship, a third entity is created. That ‘sacred being’ needs feeding and nourishment in order to grow and thrive, and that living entity then, like an invisible feed-back loop, ensures the individuals become the best version of themselves. And isn’t that what we truly want for the other? If not, then why stay in that relationship?

Someone said to me a while ago, “how can you stand spending time with your husband all the time?” (We both work from home.) The short and long answers: “I love it. I never tire of his company.”

For a marriage to blossom, it requires the individuals really know themselves. When we do that, then we fully own everything we bring to the relationship. When we don’t, pretty much everything is the other person’s fault. So marriage falls somewhere between an adversarial dead-end street or a vibrant freeway to heaven!

One of my daughters once commented that her father and I set the bar so high in terms of marriage. Truth is, I wouldn’t waste a day of my life in anything less than what we’ve created. If that’s the message my children see, then I’m delighted! Why spend your life consuming cheap and nasty ice cream when you can sup on the deluxe, gourmet, high-quality ice cream?

Mandy and Graham Bingham, one of the most gorgeous couples I know.

The more conscious we become, the more we also come to understand that our marriage is a mirror of our own self-worth and self-love. If your relationship isn’t anywhere near what you’d like it to be, then you have to go back to you. That is where the real loving has to begin and end. Love, Value, Respect. Prioritise your self-care and self-love, and watch your relationship change. Invest in your emotional and creative well-being. Life’s too short for anything less.

Perhaps you could use the energies of this upcoming Full Moon to really get a sense of relationship. https://veronikarobinson.com//full-moon-in-libra-mirror-mirror-on-the-wall/

Veronika Robinson has been officiating ceremonies since 1995. She has a deep love of the sacred, and derives great joy from creating, writing and officiating ceremonies for people. She specialises in handfastings, but is equally at home conducting more formal weddings in five-star venues, as well as namings, home blessings, blessingways, vow renewals and funerals. Veronika officiates sacred and inspirational ceremonies throughout Cumbria, northern Lancashire and Southern Scotland, and is particularly fond of outdoor ceremonies. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

March 17, 2016/2 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

Uncategorized, Writing

The Stories We Tell

On Friday, 18th September at 3.49am UK time, Saturn will ingress into the zodiac sign of Sagittarius. It’s an interesting mix, as Saturn is all about structure, responsibility, karma, legacy, discipline, restriction, hard work, focus, and doing things properly.

Sagittarius is the philosopher (at best), and at worst, it exaggerates. It’s the most expansive sign of the zodiac, that’s for sure. It is all about freedom, exploration, seeking new shores, and having ‘as much of everything’ as possible. Sagittarius is optimistic and sees the bigger picture.

What this means for us culturally, and individually, is that for the next two or so years, as Saturn works its way through this sign, we will have to take responsibility for all things that carry the Sagittarian theme. Obviously, this will show up in different ways for different people. It could manifest in landing that publishing deal you’ve always wanted, or buying a horse stud or competing professionally in horse events. Maybe archery will feature in the news. You might become a university lecturer, or a travel agent helping others to discover foreign shores.

These are just a few examples. Sagittarian ruled people (those that carry this sign on their ascendant, or have Jupiter there, for example) tend to carry weight. This transit might finally give them the discipline they need to shift unnecessary pounds.

When Saturn navigated Scorpio, a lot of stories of sexual abuse by famous men came out of the woodwork (Scorpio rules sex, amongst other things). Saturn asked us, collectively and for those involved, individually, to take responsibility for our past actions.

As Saturn ingresses Sagittarius, we will look at the stories we tell ourselves (and others). As this sign rules foreign affairs and foreign cultures, I suspect that we’ve only just seen the tip of the ‘refugee crisis’ iceberg. When we look at those desperate souls seeking a new, safe life in other countries, we must look at the whole story: these people have been displaced by war. Wars that we have been involved in because of the people we have elected to power.
We, as a culture, must ask ourselves why we don’t want them here. What are we really scared of? Why isn’t it possible for us to put ourselves in their shoes?

Rather than thinking of karma as good or bad, we will need to reframe it as: taking responsibility for our actions.

But how about on a personal level? Every moment of the day we tell ourselves (and our life broadcasts it to others) stories. The thoughts we think. The beliefs we hold. The worries we harbour. The joys which fill us to bursting. We are walking books!

Saturn will ask us to examine what goes on behind our tongue. Where do those stories come from? Is that what you really believe, or are you just regurgitating something you learnt from school, church, your parents or government?

What stories are you sharing with your children? These are all important questions that we will be forced to confront in one way or another.

At the heart of well-functioning Sagittarius energy we find strong ethics. Saturn will examine what this means for us. Perhaps there’ll be new scientific discoveries and experiments that will leave us questioning (as did the stem-cell, cloning and test tube eras) just how far we can play God.

We may find ourselves asking ‘why is it ethical to kill someone in war, but not in our own backyard?’

We may question why more refugees go to other countries, such as Germany, but are strictly held back in the UK.

The next couple of years are a time for asking: is that my belief, or is that yours?

The beauty and blessing of this important transit is that we get the opportunity to really ask of ourselves and others if we value the stories we hear. Saturn will show us that we will need maturity and responsibility to stop the script; and that we can do so at any time, and write a new one.

Can you sense areas in your life where the script needs rewriting? Why is that? What would it take to change it?

https://www.veronikarobinson.com/astrologer/index.shtml

#my500words

September 15, 2015/0 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

Uncategorized, Writing

Naked

Each night, when my body is fast asleep, there’s a whole cinematic thing going on in my head. Sometimes I swear I’m busier at night than I am in the entire day. One of last night’s dreams really spoke to me, though it clearly didn’t feel comfortable at the time.

I was somewhere between Cumbria and Yorkshire, standing in a small village, and I was completely naked. I had no idea how I got there, and I didn’t know where my husband was. I had no phone to make contact with him to bring me clothing.

People were looking at me, and men were grabbing my breasts. Even the women were looking me up and down. I asked around for some clothing to wrap around me. Eventually I had a small tablecloth that I could stretch around my waist. It was a little wider than Eve’s fig leaf!

Nakedness is interesting, on many levels. It’s a taboo in our culture, unless of course you’re some scantily clad thing on a trashy tabloid newspaper whose thong choice leaves little to the imagination.

Clothing separates us from others. It may be used for fashion, though in my case it’s nearly always used for warmth!

As a cook, I adore naked food: produce fresh from the garden. Meals made from scratch. I can’t abide soup from a tin, for example. In my food choices, I seek out ‘real’. I want to know every last ingredient in the meals I eat.

My dream clarified something for me: that as much as I walk a path with the goal of being authentic (naked), there will always be those who will try to cover up people like me. Why? Because our nakedness causes others to question their coverings. In fact, cover up actually means ‘shut up’. We do this with clothing, but we also do it to babies every time we shove a dummy in their mouths. We don’t want to hear them.

I mean, imagine this: you’re in town, doing your shopping, and you see Jane Smith. She comes wandering out of a shop wearing…well, nothing. Starkers, she is.

And you? You’re in your knee-high black boots, and that gorgeous cashmere cardigan. Jane is delighted to see you and starts to chat. But where do you look? At the sky? At the brass band busking over by the delicatessen? You can’t look at her waist, or between her legs. Jeez, of course not! And what about her breasts? That would be a bit, well, creepy, right? Breasts are only for selling cars, real estate, coffee, shopping malls, and diamonds.

The truth is, you’re both coming from a different place. Can you, in all honesty, look at Jane—look at all of Jane—and be comfortable? It’s highly unlikely (apart from the small detail that someone would have had her arrested before you came along). Ours is a culture of shame, blame, fear, dishonesty.

I watch Jeremy Corbyn take centre stage in British politics right now and want to yell: “LOVE YOUR NAKEDNESS, JEREMY!”

He’s being authentic. He’s speaking his truth. Interesting how quickly MPs scuttled away when his voice was starting to really be heard. They didn’t want to be associated with that naked man! And how fascinating is it to see the ‘true colours’ of politicians like David Cameron become almost neon-like as they flash their distaste.

The truth is we’re unlikely to become a culture that gives people the right to be naked. But what about the other ways in which we can be naked? We don’t need culture’s approval to be authentic. We might be shamed, or legally bullied, into wearing clothes, but no one can force us to cover our true nature.

When we come to love who we are, and to value our place on this earth, then we won’t even bother with a fig leaf; not for ourselves, and not to protect others.

Our values, our beliefs, our passions ~ they don’t need hiding. They do, however, need honouring. I read a lovely quote the other day. It was something like ‘self-esteem is the reputation you have of yourself’. Wow! What does this say about the majority of people? Few people have a healthy self-esteem (please don’t confuse someone’s arrogance or bullish behaviour as high self-esteem; it’s quite the opposite).

If you had a great reputation (of yourself), you would have no need to ‘dress’.

We wear ‘psychological’ garments every time we hide our truth, regardless of whether it’s over a small issue or something that’s hugely important to us. Living a life of compromise means that we start to have ‘emotional’ leakages somewhere. Generally, such leakages end up causing disease as the physical body tries to process what the mind and emotions have been denied. A really good example of this is when someone we love dies. Our culture is not set up for grief. Yes, you can have a few days off work, but by heck when you get back for God’s sake don’t cry in front of anyone. The grief of losing someone can take years to process. Imagine what it does to us when we’re forced to contain that pain so we don’t upset others (with our nakedness). Our body pays the price.

In what ways are you covering up? Do you keep a fig leaf (or banana leaf) nearby so that others don’t have to see who you really are?

#my500words

September 15, 2015/1 Comment/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

Romance, Writing

Where are all the good men?

There’s an old Patty Loveless song with lyrics I relate to:
If you don’t count my reckless youth, I came straight to you.

And also: I saw a tender heart, and I came straight to you.

I was in my mid-twenties when I had the pleasure of working with a man called Graham. He was a Minister of Metaphysics. I taught workshops such as “Why is this happening to me again?” and “The Quest”. Together, we made a great team. I loved going to work. Graham was fun, he was passionate, and he was smart. He was also deeply empathetic.

One day Graham said to me “Veronika, you have to stop believing all men are bastards”.

His words hit me hard, but they were just the wake-up call I needed. I did have a strong belief system in place which meant that the guys who turned up in my life were not the sort of men who were good for me. Graham was one of the first men in my life I respected, and my working relationship with him was a turning point in how I saw men.

My experiences with men had me believing that they were generally unavailable in some form, or were just out for one thing.

Graham’s words had me doing some serious soul searching, and whatever it was that I excavated from deep within my murky subconscious clearly did the trick. Just a few weeks later, the man who would become my husband, walked into my life. And, thank the Goddesses, he’s still here.

In my youth, I was a magnet for ‘bad boys’. What was I looking for? Adventure? Fun? From my current vantage point, I simply didn’t know what I was looking for back then. I had a dad who worked overseas for the majority of my childhood, so I didn’t have him around as a role model (for better or worse). What I did have pervading my childhood were men who took advantage of me sexually. When your boundaries (physical and spiritual) are penetrated in such a way you lose any sense of self. Today I’m a different person. Abuse, of course, comes in different forms ~ it’s not just sexual. All those years of having men take advantage of me destroyed something within me. But I didn’t stay a victim. I empowered myself and grew into the woman I am today. The one my husband describes as ‘she doesn’t take sh** from anyone’. I think he means it as a compliment!

Spending the past twenty years with a man who respects me has been deeply healing. In the process, I have also found my feet and my inner power source. No man walks over me. And although I may not be physically strong like a man, I have a strength within that could make a grown man cry.

I have had the good fortune to meet some amazing, caring, talented, loving, kind and wonderful men over the years. To be honest, such men are in the minority. But who is to blame for this lack of decent men? Their mothers? Probably. The culture? Definitely. Women? I’m afraid so.

As long as women allow men to treat them appallingly (on any level), the longer those men have what they consider their god-given right to be disrespectful, thoughtless, uncaring, rude… and you can stick an assortment of other words here.

When I write my novels, I create men that I’d want to have in my life. And, here’s a secret: a lot of their characteristics are based on what I find admirable in my husband. I’m not prepared to share him with anyone, but I would love for women the world over to experience the joy, liberation, well-being and happiness that come from living with a good man. When we are in such a relationship, the depth of emotional intimacy is life-changing. Remember, intimacy = in to me see.

This gorgeous man is the inspiration behind the character Isaac in my novel Sisters of the Silver Moon. You can just tell from his smile that he’s loving, kind, thoughtful, humorous and gentle.

I dated about fifty guys before I met my husband. My daughters are horrified by this. Yeah, I’d like to erase them all from my history, too, but… what I did learn from those experiences is what I don’t want in a man. When Paul walked into my life, I recognised him immediately as someone who was kind, tender and had a good sense of humour. He was unlike any man I’d been out with before. No wonder we moved in together the next day after our first date. Sheesh, I wasn’t letting him go. I often joke that I didn’t marry him; I took him hostage!

So, when my single friends ask me ‘where are all the good men?’ I probably need to enlighten them and break through the myth that they’re already married.

Want a good man to turn up in your life? Then you need to honour yourself enough not to say ‘yes’ to the men who aren’t good for you. Ladies, you’re worth more than crumbs. Don’t accept them! Go for the best, most luscious, delicious cake you can find! If there isn’t one in sight, then bide your time and grow yourself into the most beautiful and amazing version of you. You are what you eat. Don’t eat the crumbs!

September 3, 2015/2 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

Language, Romance, Writing

A Holistic Approach

Would you like to write for Starflower Living magazine?

Issue 6 themes for the New Moon in Sagittarius (due date, November 2nd): optimism, faith, adventure, freedom, truth, travel, publishing, horses, expansion, higher learning, Nature, conscience, friendliness, universities, philosophy. Health: thighs, sciatica, liver, hips.

Issue 7 themes for the New Moon in Capricorn (due date, December 1st): self-discipline, commitment, public image, aging, success, reaching goals, financial security, ambition, respect, fathers, and tradition. Health: knees, skin, bones, joints, gall bladder/stones, arthritis.

We are looking for articles which make people think, and that will inspire, take them out of their comfort zone.

Love, Veronika

October 21, 2014/0 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson