This week I had the pleasure of having my daughter home for a couple of nights. Seven weeks ago she left home to begin studying music at Bangor University (on the north Wales coast). She said she wanted to spend time together cooking. Turned out, I cooked and she chatted. And ate!
It is said, of parenting, that we give our children roots so that one day they’ll be able to fly. It is fair to say that we wondered how she’d survive away from home. We needn’t have worried, as it turns out. She is flying, and it’s such a joy to see her wings taking her to new worlds, meeting new people and discovering more of who she is.
Yes, those roots were solid and strong, and I’ve no doubt they’ll always have a place in her life. There was a certain sense of motherly satisfaction that she enjoyed being home again so much, and even more joy that she was so excited to head back to uni again. She is growing, changing, expanding and discovering. Roots and Wings.
On an Autumnal day in New Zealand in March, 1996, I gave birth to my first child at home in a birth pool by candlelight. Mozart’s music played in the room, and she arrived in this world peacefully. She didn’t cry or fuss, but just looked into our eyes and took in her surroundings.
Half an hour later, it was time to cut the cord (if I knew then what I do now, we’d have had a *lotus birth and not cut the cord). She howled and screamed. It has been said that cutting the cord doesn’t hurt, but she clearly felt ‘something’ as our physical connection was severed.
Seconds after giving birth at home, by candlelight and Mozart, to my daughter Bethany.
For eighteen years, we have shared our lives. At seven this morning, we waved goodbye. That umbilical cord was well and truly cut. And it bloody well hurt me too. She’s on her own now. This part of my mothering journey with her is over.
I’m no longer there to protect her, make sure she eats her greens, warn her off certain boys, and prompt a bedtime to ensure adequate sleep. My job is done.
I look forward to hearing all the stories about university life. But today, I grieve. Today I trust the tears which fall so freely to cleanse old wounds.
I have found it interesting in these past few weeks how differently people respond to pain. Those who have attachment parented their children ~ they understand. They allow me my grief without trying to band aid over it.
And then there are people who are quick to remind me that she’ll be home in ten weeks. It’ll zip by, they say. Maybe. But I doubt it.
If you ever miscarry, someone is bound to say ‘never mind, you can try again’ or ‘it wasn’t meant to be’…rather than just honouring the loss. They mean well, of course, but it doesn’t help.
Yes, Christmas might be just around the corner (at my age it’s always just around the corner!)…but that’s more than 150 meals we won’t be sharing together. More than seventy mornings where I won’t get to see her smile or share a cup of tea.
As a bonded family, every day is a lifetime to savour. So, in some people’s world ten weeks is nothing. This morning, for me, it is a long time away.
I appreciate she’s not going off to war or ill in hospital. She’s a beautiful, healthy young woman with adventures ahead of her ~ but that doesn’t make the cutting of the umbilical cord any less painful.
The eighteen years between giving birth and saying goodbye, now THAT has zipped by.
Pharmacy shelves abound with ‘remedies’ for coughs and colds, but I can promise you nothing will come close to being as brilliant as your own home-made elixir.
I’ve made up a batch of Autumnal cold syrup so my daughter can take some to Bangor University when she leaves (in two days). There are rumours of Freshers Flu which are leaving all the new students rather terrified.
What you’ll need: Organic lemons (you’re leaving the skins on, so make sure they’re organic) Fresh ginger root (one decent chunk, about five inches long) 30 ml 100% eucalyptus oil (do NOT use synthetic oils) Raw honey (depends on how much you’re making) Old glass jars
Place the glass jars and lids into a large pot and fill with water and bring to the boil. While they’re sterilising, get to work make your mixture.
Slice the lemons. (I used three bags of lemons, but one bag is fine)
Slice the ginger root.
Sprinkle liberally with lots of eucalyptus oil.
Gentle warm the honey if it’s ‘set’ honey. Don’t boil it. You just want it soft enough to pour into your jars.
When the jars are done, and have cooled a little, place the lemons and ginger root in each one until filled to the top. Sprinkle in more eucalyptus oil. Pour honey in until covered. Screw lid on tightly. I tip my jars upside down, and upright, and down again a few times over the course of the next day.
To use: simply take a spoon of honey (including lemon and ginger) and pop it into a mug with boiling water. Sip as often as needed throughout the day.
This can be used as a preventative, too. This mixture will last for months in the fridge.
So, all you Freshers starting university life, get drinking this remedy. Stay strong, study hard, have fun ~ and most importantly, phone your mother!
*You can also find a recipe for Thyme Honey (also effective for coughs and colds) in issue 4 of Starflower Living (publishing Sept 24). http://www.starflowerpress.com/living/index.shtml
Starflower Living(digital magazine) is now seeking submissions for issue 2, publishing July 26th. Due date for articles, photographs or art, July 10th. Please send to: office (at) starflowerpress (dot) com or veronika (no space) robinson (at) hotmail (dot) com
Themes sought for our New Moon in Leo issue include: the heart, courage, pride, fierce determination, fire, passion, love and romance, playfulness, creativity and celebration. (Health-related topics: back and spine, heart, exhaustion, inflammations.)
We seek articles that are original, and haven’t been published (or submitted) elsewhere in print or digitally. Please ensure the work is your own, and is of a professional standard. If submitting art or photographs, please make sure you have written permission from the owner.
Issue 3 themes for the New Moon in Virgo (due date August 8th): healing, healers, helpfulness, service, mentoring, diet/exercise, perfectionism, discrimination, efficiency, weight management, mind/body/soul, alternative health care. Health: solar plexus, bowels and intestines, digestion.
Issue 4 themes for the New Moon in Libra (due date, September 6th): Love, partnership, marriage, kindness, balance, fairness, co-dependency, harmony, beauty, counselling, peace, décor, diplomacy, companionship, grace, luxury and elegance. Health: kidneys, adrenals, sugar imbalance.
Issue 5 themes for the New Moon in Scorpio (due date, October 4th): soul mates, sexuality, transformation, empowerment, letting go, old baggage, psychology, secrets, depth of character, compulsions, deep emotional connections, debt, inheritance, jealousy, abandonment. Health: sexual organs, organs of elimination, menstrual cycle, sexual diseases.
Issue 6 themes for the New Moon in Sagittarius (due date, November 2nd): optimism, faith, adventure, freedom, truth, travel, publishing, horses, expansion, higher learning, Nature, conscience, friendliness, universities, philosophy. Health: thighs, sciatica, liver, hips.
Issue 7 themes for the New Moon in Capricorn (due date, December 1st): self-discipline, commitment, public image, aging, success, reaching goals, financial security, ambition, respect, fathers, and tradition. Health: knees, skin, bones, joints, gall bladder/stones, arthritis.
Starflower is also known as borage. Borage comes from the Celtic word borrach which means courage. Starflower Living is a publication dedicated to holistic and courageous living. www.starflowerpress.com
https://veronikarobinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/logo-1.png00Veronika Sophia Robinsonhttps://veronikarobinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/logo-1.pngVeronika Sophia Robinson2014-06-22 08:30:062014-06-22 08:30:06Living a courageous life