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The Power of Ceremony

There’s a simple question that I ask myself every time I head off to officiate a ceremony: how will the guests choose to be involved? Will they watch and witness with respect and love, sitting in silence and reverence, or will they chatter amongst themselves as if just watching a TV show?

www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

A ceremony—whether it’s a funeral, naming, wedding or other rite of passage—is a small moment in time (anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes) in which we have permission to slow down, to step away from bustle of daily life; and we can choose to honour the art of ritual when we’re invited into that sacred space ~ or, we can act as if it’s just another mundane event.

Four-element altar for Sara and Michael’s Wedding. Amethyst, candle, feather, and water infused under the Full Moon. Celtic cross, and handfasting ribbon. The rings were on a twig of rosemary for remembrance. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

In an ideal world, and it’s certainly something I try to do in my daily life, we would see each day (and each moment) as sacrosanct, and be mindful of how we experience time and space and symbolism. But this world isn’t ideal. We, as a culture, have been corrupted by devices that remove us from our true nature. We often watch two screens at once: phone and TV. Have you ever gone to lunch with a friend and they spend their whole time looking at their phone? This is the world we’ve created, but it doesn’t have to be this way. These are choices we make. We can learn to be still. We can learn to listen, and learn to be present.

Without question, my favourite wedding ceremony in 21 years. What a truly gorgeous couple. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

Beautiful flower girl at Sara and Michael’s wedding ceremony www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

As adults, we are role models teaching children how to be witnesses or participants in sacred ceremonies.

The wedding aisle www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

As a celebrant, children are always welcome at my ceremonies. I don’t have expectations of them sitting still for long, but I do always hope that parents will be mindful of how they and their children may impact on a ceremony. So, some simple tips for being a mindful guest at a ceremony:

I present to you Mrs Sara Pearson. What a beautiful wedding! (if I do say so myself) www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

1. Arrive on time! If you are late, do not walk into the ceremonial space. Stay outside or at the side.

Mandala www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

2. Understand that this is a sacred space, and just because you may not be in a church or chapel with a priest, it doesn’t mean talking should continue after the ceremony has started. This is particularly true during moments of ritual, such as candle lighting or exchange of vows or tying the handfasting cord. Honour what is happening by being a conscious witness to the rituals, symbols and word medicine. Know that for this person/couple/family, they will never get this moment back again.

3. Be particularly mindful of young children, and how they may end up becoming centre stage and taking the focus away from the person/family for whom the ceremony is happening. Ensure their needs are met (for food/drink/comfort/amusement/toilet) before the ceremony starts. 4. Ensure your phone/pager is off or down. Don’t assume it’s okay to take photos during the ceremony. Flash lights, the click of a camera, etc., are not conducive to sacred space. 5. Go to the toilet before the ceremony starts. Allow yourself to be truly present. Let your heart really feel into the moment, and give and receive love with those around you, and those who you are witnessing.

Such an honour to officiate Sibella’s naming ceremony. What a wonderful family. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

Ceremonies are beautiful and powerful rites of passage. They are made even more sacred when guests are there as mindful witnesses, whether they are giving a reading, singing a song, or simply witnessing through their quiet, respectful presence. It’s a role, though silent, that shouldn’t be underestimated.

Veronika Robinson is a celebrant who officiates weddings and Celtic handfastings, funerals, namings, housewarmings, blessingways, and other rites of passage, such as New to the Moon (menarche) and Creative Crone (menopause). She has had the honour of officiating ceremonies since 1995. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant She is available throughout Cumbria, north Lancashire and Yorkshire, and Southern Scotland (to within 100 miles of Penrith).

A little bit of love that I left on my husband’s wood-chopping block.

July 24, 2016/0 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

Celebrant, Romance

Choosing a time of day to marry

There are so many decisions to make for your wedding day, but have you ever given any thought to the energies of the different times of day during which to ‘tie the knot’?

Depending on your vision of where the ceremony and reception will take place, you may feel you don’t have much choice in terms of picking a suitable time of day. Maybe you need to allow time for people to travel to the venue, or for the hair and make-up artists to work on their beautification project. Or perhaps the venue makes the decision for you.

The energies of the day mirror the seasonal energies.

Morning represents Springtime, and is ruled by Aries. It’s filled with the spirit of “let’s do this!” There’s a dynamic, powerful, and definite liveliness to morning. Think of the power and determination of all those Spring bulbs finding their way through the cold dark soil, and blessing us with their incredible beauty. They give us hope! And what of sunrise? How incredible is that energy? To marry at this time of day will infuse your marriage with a positive and energetic tone.

How many brides do you know of who married in the early part of the day? I did!

Over the years since that beautiful day in New Zealand two decades ago, I’ve often thought: “What was I thinking getting up so early to get my hair and make-up done?” In hindsight, I’m so grateful that I chose morning, and that by the time the ceremony was done we were able to celebrate with brunch.

To marry in the middle of the day, when the Sun is high in the sky, represents Summer. It is infused with a mature energy. Astrologically, this is identified by the Mother archetype of Cancer. Your marriage may bring this theme into rather sharp focus. Make sure you’re not marrying your mother (just joking!).

Late afternoon brings with it the energies of diplomatic Libra. We would assign the season of Autumn to this time of day. It is symbolic of a ‘gathering in’ sort of energy. A time for inner reflection. Given this energy, think about Autumn and what it means for you.

And what of night? To marry in the evening is symbolic of Winter: Energetically, it is Capricorn, ruled by Saturn. This is represented by storage and building our legacy. Saturn, when understood well, brings us discipline, structure and endurance. Perhaps these are energies you’d like to bring to the long-term nature of marriage.

So, perhaps you’re clear on what time of day would be best for your marriage. If you’d like help deciding a great day, astrologically, for your marriage, then feel free to book an astrology reading with me. I can do readings which focus on your synastry (what each of you bring to the relationship) or to help choose a great wedding day. www.veronikarobinson.com

Veronika Robinson has been officiating ceremonies since 1995. She has a deep love of the sacred, and derives great joy from creating, writing and officiating ceremonies for people. She specialises in handfastings, but is equally at home conducting more formal weddings in five-star venues, as well as namings, home blessings, blessingways, vow renewals and funerals. Veronika officiates sacred and inspirational ceremonies throughout Cumbria, northern Lancashire and Southern Scotland, and is particularly fond of outdoor ceremonies. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

March 17, 2016/0 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

Uncategorized

A vegetarian wedding

As a long-term vegetarian, and someone who truly enjoys creating good-tasting food, the idea of a vegetarian wedding really appeals to me.

My own wedding was: in lieu of presents, please bring a home-made vegetarian meal to share. It was fantastic, and really brought the guests together in their shared commitment to honour our wedding day in this way. For twenty years I’ve held this memory with deep gratitude and joy.

Unless you absolutely know that a wedding venue can meet your needs, brace yourself for disappointment or another choice of venue. If the venue you’ve chosen isn’t capable of providing you with a first-class vegetarian reception, ask to bring in your own caterers.

I recently attended a local wedding venue that was featuring a new room. As a marriage celebrant, I was most excited to see this space. Well, it sure did look beautiful! However, I paid £15 for the honour of trying their gourmet canapés. Well in advance I put in my request for gluten-free vegetarian. Imagine my disappointment (and, to be honest, some seething ‘wtf?’) when I was pointed to olives (which I could have bought at the supermarket) and nuts. Seriously? I can hand on heart say I felt duped.

Vegetarian meals at most weddings may fall under the following categories: improvised, salads, sides, buffets that feature a couple of plant-based options. Check that your venue is skilled at vegetarian-only menus and that they treat it with the respect and care it deserves rather than as a last-minute thought or attachment.

Buckland Hall is the only all-vegetarian wedding venue in Britain.

See their mouthwatering menu here: http://www.bucklandhall.co.uk/wedding_content.php?art_id=73

If that doesn’t inspire you to choose a vegetarian menu, nothing will.

Some venues can be downright rude and unfriendly when you say you want a wedding sans dead animals.

No matter if your choice for a vegetarian wedding is based on a desire for a low eco footprint, animal ethics, or a wish to keep things simple, this is YOUR wedding day, and you have the right to create it in the way that is comfortable for you. Don’t be scared to shop around and make other plans if you feel you’re not being heard.

Some brides feel pressured by guests into having meat options at their wedding. Your guests are there to honour your commitment to love another person. The wedding is a template of who you are, and your values. If you feel strongly about having a cruelty-free menu, then stand your ground. If a guest feels that they can’t go one meal without meat, then perhaps they could eat a burger before arriving at the wedding?

Contrary to the argument that meat eaters offer vegetarian meals (ha! barely) at their weddings, so it should be the same for veggies to offer a meat option, it isn’t as simple as that. Choosing to not be part of the loss of an animal’s life speaks to the heart of a person. It defines an aspect of who they are. Why would any guest expect someone with such heart-felt beliefs not to be true to themselves on what is considered by many to be the most important day of their lives?

If the chef in question needs inspiring, send him samples of vegetarian wedding meals such as those of Buckland Hall. Why not choose a wedding away from a hotel, and ask your guests to bring a home-made vegetarian meal? Or you could hire a vegetarian food van (such as a falafel truck), and keep it really casual.

Food is such an important element and ritual of ceremonies. It is natural that your food ethics would be reflected in your wedding day.

Planning a wedding is a good test for married life. Every step of the way is about compromise: season, style, venue, catered or not catered, colours, themes, guests, music, flowers and so on. Compromise, however, is about what feels good for the soul, and shouldn’t be about sacrifice. If you walk gently on this Earth by not eating animals, and want your wedding to be an example of that, then be true to your core values.

Vegetarian food, when made with love, care and flair, is deeply nourishing, tasty and fulfilling. Don’t be fobbed off with anything less than the best.

My motto is: Your Day, Your Way.

Veronika Robinson has been officiating weddings since 1995. She trained at Unity Church in Auckland, New Zealand, and was authorised to conduct legal weddings under the New Thought Ministries umbrella. She has a deep love of the sacred, and derives great joy from creating, writing and officiating personalised ceremonies for people. She specialises in handfastings, but is equally at home conducting more formal weddings, as well as namings, blessingways, vow renewals and funerals. Veronika officiates inspirational ceremonies throughout Cumbria, northern Lancashire and Southern Scotland, and is particularly fond of outdoor ceremonies. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

March 15, 2016/0 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

Uncategorized

WHY are you getting married?

I wonder how often a bride and groom ask themselves: why am I getting married?
Yes, the obvious answer is because you love each other and want to make a formal commitment to your relationship. So, why then, do so few couples give much thought to the actual ceremony and its content when getting married? Thousands of pounds (or dollars) are typically spent on weddings: the dress, hair & make-up, tuxedos, bridesmaids’ dresses and shoes, flowers, cake, venue, catering, music & entertainment, invitations, rings, photographer or videographer… Actually, the list can be endless.

Last Sunday I was at a wedding fayre to promote my business as an independent celebrant in Cumbria: Ceremonies from the Heart.

During the afternoon, the local marriage registrar came up to me and said “I just wanted to come and meet the competition.” If she’d said it jokingly or with humour, I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog today. I was quick to point out that I was not competition of any description. But, even if I was, surely the world is big enough for everyone’s dreams and talents?

I did wonder: is that really how the majority of registrars in England see independent celebrants? I’m baffled as to why. We’re not competition on any level. If someone is planning to become married they either need to have a church wedding or go to the registrar for it to be considered ‘legal’. A celebrant is not a ‘necessity’ to getting married. Some may even think it’s a waste of time and money.

Here is why I feel an independent celebrant is the most important investment you can make in your wedding day. It comes back to the question I asked earlier: why are you getting married?

Last year my husband and I renewed our vows in honour of our twenty years together. Although I wrote the ceremony myself, when choosing the celebrant I was clear about three things: I wanted someone with a lovely speaking voice; someone who was comfortable speaking in front of people; and most importantly of all (for me), I wanted someone who believed in love and was a living example of a positive and happy marriage. Talk about narrow down the choices! However, on an energetic level, this felt vital to the celebration.

As we planned our day, the heart of the celebration at all times rested on the actual ceremony: the words and their meaning, the readings our friends would share, the songs which would be sung, the rituals to be included, and the witnessing of our vows by friends and family. There’s no question that the celebration afterwards was wonderful, but what we took away was that small window of time when we shared our love with those people who are closest to us.

On our wedding day, we were blessed to have our ceremony officiated by the lady who trained me to be a celebrant a year earlier.

Long Meg Druids’ Circle

Having an independent celebrant allows you to create the ceremony of your dreams: one which represents your relationship, your love and your hopes. A church wedding, while it can be beautiful, is based on a script focussed on religion rather than the couple’s love. Why can’t it include both? Celebrant-led ceremonies can be infused with your love for the divine and your love for a human.

A blustery day: Green Bay, Auckland, New Zealand.

A registrar’s service is not religious, but at the same time it allows no room for those who would like to include what is meaningful to them, whether that is religious, spiritual, holistic, humorous or other.

When I work with clients, I listen to their stories and create a ceremony based on what is important to them individually and as a couple. There is complete freedom in terms of the length of the ceremony, the location, the readings, the music, the vows, the rituals and symbols, and of course, the script I write forms the foundation of their ceremony.

THIS is what

friends and family

who witness your ceremony

will remember.

In their hearts, what they’ll take away from a wedding day is how they felt when they were included in what can be a truly beautiful, personal and intimate ceremony. I believe a wedding day is, first and foremost, about the couple, but it’s also an opportunity for everyone involved to have their heart opened a little more. Hearts are opened when we can resonate with the beauty and meaning we feel within the carefully chosen words.

On a personal level, one of my core values in life is: beauty. When I look around this world, I choose to see beauty.

On a professional level, as a celebrant, my goal is to infuse beauty into each ceremony I write. This is my gift. This is my passion. That I have loved a man so deeply and profoundly for more than twenty years means that I understand what it is to enter into a lifelong commitment, and what it takes to walk that path. And I hope, as your wedding dress goes back onto the coat hanger after your wedding day, and those gorgeous flowers eventually wither away, that the ceremony of love that was created from my heart, to honour the two hearts of the couple I’ve married, lives on and on and on.

Veronika Robinson has been a marriage celebrant since 1995. She was trained through Unity Church, Auckland, New Zealand, and was registered to perform legal ceremonies in New Zealand with New Thought Ministries. She is available throughout Cumbria to create, write and officiate weddings, handfastings, same-sex unions, vow renewals, funerals & memorials, blessingways, namings and other rites of passage. She is a registered member of the Association of Independent Celebrants, and a preferred supplier on Easy Weddings. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant

January 21, 2016/0 Comments/by Veronika Sophia Robinson

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Weddings in Cumbria

For 17 years I have been blessed to live in gorgeous Cumbria. Although Australian born and raised, this part of the world has stolen a place in my heart. From the gentle bosom-like fells to the dramatic Lake District hills, forests, streams, tarns, lakes and meadows, this part of the world offers so many beautiful places for a couple to take their wedding vows.

Do you want to get married:

At sunrise on the Summer Solstice?
Beneath the stars on New Year’s Eve?
In an apple orchard?
Barefoot on the beach?
In an ancient woodland?

In a luxury hotel?
An old stone chapel?
By the fireplace in a converted barn?

In a candlelit labyrinth?
Inside an old castle?

On a boat?
In a wildflower meadow?
At a Druid’s stone circle?

As an independent celebrant, I am free to marry you any time, and at the place of your dreams.

Why choose me as a celebrant?

I offer personalised, heart-felt ceremonies created, written & officiated especially for you. I’m a specialist in ritual, & have been officiating weddings since 1995.

For as long as I can remember, I have always felt a sense of respect for ceremonies and rituals which honour the human spirit. Having officiated across three countries, for more than twenty years, I am skilled at bringing purpose and intention to each ceremony.

My role is to seamlessly create a sacred space, and I do so practically and intuitively using a sense of craft and pace. I am there to hold the energy, and to offer structure.

I trained as a celebrant at Unity Church, Auckland, New Zealand in the early 1990s, and have officiated ceremonies in all manner of places, such as a Maori Marae in New Zealand, public gardens in New Zealand and Australia, Ironage replica roundhouse, bushlands, meadow, private gardens, by a river, public and private buildings, and a stone circle in Yorkshire.

If you’re planning to get married in Cumbria, but live overseas or in another county, that’s no problem at all. We can use Skype to ensure all your wedding plans for the ceremony come together seamlessly.