Whether you’ve been on one of my menopause workshops or you follow this blog, you are invited to take part in some research I’m gathering for my book on the topic of Marriage, Menopause and You.
The research involves filling in a simple questionaire about your experience of menopause and the impact it has had on you and/or your spouse/marriage.
All answers are confidential.
Please get in touch if you’d like to take part.
Thank you so much, Veronika x
Veronika Robinson is an author based in Cumbria, and is currently writing a book on the liminal space of menopause, marriage and the psycho-spiritual changes as we recalibrate. She is the author of Cycle to the Moon; Celebrating The Menstrual Trinity: Menarche, Menstruation, Menopause, and an assortment of other books. She facilitates workshops for women, including the menstrual trinity; and as a celebrant creates and officiates Sagesse and Crone ceremonies.
This series of blog posts on Marriage, Menopause and You is written as part of my writerly journey while I write my book on this topic.
The journey of menopause takes us into a liminal space: it is a path of recalibration. During this time we may be particularly sensitive to the energies in and around us. If we’ve never considered our vibrational energy before, this is a good time to start doing so.
We are changing. Our bodies are changing. And our inner landscape is changing too.
Here are seven ways to raise your vibration to bring balance into your life. This will not only support you on your journey, but will bring clarity, compassion and consciousness to yourself and to your significant relationship. You don’t have to be married or in an intimate relationship to use these ideas.
Vibration can be understood in terms of love and fear or positive and negative. It is energy. Everything is made of energy, and according to the law of attraction people and situations are magnetised or repelled based on the vibrational nature or match of that energy.
We have a choice in how we absorb energies around us, and of those we broadcast. Our mind is an incredible resource, and we choose what goes through there. Monitoring, and living as a guardian to, the quality of those thoughts ensures that we are mindful of the frequencies we emit. Even if you feel like you’re someone who has gone through your whole life seeing the glass as half empty, or empty, you can choose to take a new approach. It is as simple as it is difficult. It is a choice, though. You are a powerful being, and you are the one in charge of the thoughts you think. Try choosing different thoughts and watch your life change.
For as long as I can remember, music has played an important role in my well-being and emotional health. Studies have shown that music has healing qualities. Or, at least it can do. But if the music you’re listening to doesn’t make you feel good then consider how much impact your music choices have on you. The lyrics we listen to, and the feel of the music, can enhance or reduce our vibrational energy. Next time you listen to a song, think about what the themes are. Is this something you want in your life? Do you want more sadness, regret, loneliness, anger, bitterness?
I remember when my daughters were little girls. I was listening to a song by David Gray and singing along to the lyrics of Nightblindness: ‘when the money runs out’. My younger daughter looked up and said “Mummy, what are we going to do when the money runs out?” Needless to say I never played that music again. My daughter was playing dolls, but she was listening to a powerful message! I didn’t want her to absorb poverty consciousness.
With some songs that I like the music to, but I know the lyrics aren’t conducive to a healthy and positive mindset, I simply change the lyrics to something better.
Our environment shapes us in countless ways. We are constantly taking in thousands of pieces of information every single second though we are only conscious of a few of them. Your environment is always feeding you. Does it nourish you? Are you surrounded by beauty, laughter, love, kindness? Whatever you are absorbing is triggering an avalanche of hormones in your body. This in turns shapes your vibrational frequency. And this draws or repels things, people, and events into your life.
Words are powerful. They can cure and they can wound. What is coming out of your mouth? Are you fuelling a fire by gossiping about another or whining about your partner or child or someone else in your life? It is essential if we intend to enjoy a happy and high-vibrational energy that we dispense of negative language, gossiping or speaking about yourself in an unkind way. Practise using affirmations as a way of speaking with power.
E.g. I am kind. I am calm. I am loving. I am living in a peaceful way. I am enjoying creativity.
Gratitude is, I believe, one of the quickest and most reliable ways to raise your vibration to a beautiful level. Genuine gratitude lights up every cell of your being. Studies have shown that just act of searching for something to be grateful for changes the brain in a positive way.
You might like to keep a gratitude journal. It can be as simple as writing down five things, at the end of each day (just before sleep) that you’re grateful for. It could be the roof over your head, your comfy bed, or some kindness someone has shown you. It might be for your health, or that you passed a test, or for the flowers in your garden. There’s no right or wrong way to experience and express gratitude. To further enhance your vibration, allow yourself to really feel grateful. Allow yourself to smile, and let that feeling permeate your whole being.
Acknowledging everything you appreciate about your life, your relationships, your health, work and so on, allows the doors of possibility to open. e.g. I am so grateful for my loving spouse/husband/partner. I am so grateful for the kindness and care I receive in my relationship.
My own daily practice includes writing or saying: Life is good! And is if responding to myself, I reply: All the time!
I spend an hour each morning (I get up early and write in my journal while still in bed) writing things and experiences I’m grateful for. This isn’t just about things which have happened, but things I wish to happen. I bring the future into my present by giving thanks for them as if I already have them.
e.g I am so grateful for my excellent health and radiant well being.
I am so grateful for my beautiful and loving relationship.
I am so grateful for my deep levels of creativity.
This combination of affirmation and gratitude is a form of ‘brainwashing’ (but in a positive way!) It is rewiring of old or outdated thought systems. I’m simply replacing anything that doesn’t serve me with something that will. The more often we work with our mind in this way, the more natural those beliefs will become until they’re non negotiable in our life.
Look around you. Where do you live? Where do you work? What can you see? What can you hear? What can you smell? What can you touch? How does it feel? Your frequency, your vibrational energy, will be matching the environment where you are spending your time. Is it nourishing you?
I am blessed to primarily work from home. I sit by a window as I work so I can ‘draw’ in the nature that’s outside. I have flowers beside me, and an assortment of crystals. I may have Mozart on the record player and incense burning. Even if I worked away in an office, I’d find ways to bring in elements of beauty. This is nourishment. It aligns us to our optimal self.
It’s easy for things like housework (or in my case, paperwork!) to become overwhelming. Taking some time to eliminate these, or keep them at manageable levels, only serves to enhance our well-being. There are countless articles, blogs and books on the power of decluttering. It is therapeutic and cathartic. Simplicity is a value which allows us to see the truth of our lives.
The Seventh Way
It is said that we become a composite of the five people we hang out with the most. This becomes particularly challenging if those people are emotionally draining, negative, pessimists, gossipers and so on.
we are ‘swimming’ in the energy field
of the people we live with or spend the most time around.
Consider that this can be affecting you and your health and well-being, and reflect on how you might remedy this. Perhaps it is about alerting them to their mindset or explaining how their negativity is impacting you. You can’t change them, of course, but it is important to speak your truth quietly and clearly. As we change, our relationships change.
It can take a huge amount of energy to maintain our high vibrational energy when we’re surrounded by people who are emitting a negative frequency.
Making the conscious decision to choose high-vibration living means that you start making different choices. This is empowering and authentic, and ensures that you’re recalibrating in an optimal way. Consistently making these choices creates a brand new life. It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel sad, angry, depressed and so on. It does mean that you’ll make choices to choose different feelings sooner rather than later.
There’s a simple question that I ask myself every time I head off to officiate a ceremony: how will the guests choose to be involved? Will they watch and witness with respect and love, sitting in silence and reverence, or will they chatter amongst themselves as if just watching a TV show?
A ceremony—whether it’s a funeral, naming, wedding or other rite of passage—is a small moment in time (anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes) in which we have permission to slow down, to step away from bustle of daily life; and we can choose to honour the art of ritual when we’re invited into that sacred space ~ or, we can act as if it’s just another mundane event.
Four-element altar for Sara and Michael’s Wedding. Amethyst, candle, feather, and water infused under the Full Moon. Celtic cross, and handfasting ribbon. The rings were on a twig of rosemary for remembrance. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant
In an ideal world, and it’s certainly something I try to do in my daily life, we would see each day (and each moment) as sacrosanct, and be mindful of how we experience time and space and symbolism. But this world isn’t ideal. We, as a culture, have been corrupted by devices that remove us from our true nature. We often watch two screens at once: phone and TV. Have you ever gone to lunch with a friend and they spend their whole time looking at their phone? This is the world we’ve created, but it doesn’t have to be this way. These are choices we make. We can learn to be still. We can learn to listen, and learn to be present.
As a celebrant, children are always welcome at my ceremonies. I don’t have expectations of them sitting still for long, but I do always hope that parents will be mindful of how they and their children may impact on a ceremony. So, some simple tips for being a mindful guest at a ceremony:
2. Understand that this is a sacred space, and just because you may not be in a church or chapel with a priest, it doesn’t mean talking should continue after the ceremony has started. This is particularly true during moments of ritual, such as candle lighting or exchange of vows or tying the handfasting cord. Honour what is happening by being a conscious witness to the rituals, symbols and word medicine. Know that for this person/couple/family, they will never get this moment back again.
3. Be particularly mindful of young children, and how they may end up becoming centre stage and taking the focus away from the person/family for whom the ceremony is happening. Ensure their needs are met (for food/drink/comfort/amusement/toilet) before the ceremony starts. 4. Ensure your phone/pager is off or down. Don’t assume it’s okay to take photos during the ceremony. Flash lights, the click of a camera, etc., are not conducive to sacred space. 5. Go to the toilet before the ceremony starts. Allow yourself to be truly present. Let your heart really feel into the moment, and give and receive love with those around you, and those who you are witnessing.
Ceremonies are beautiful and powerful rites of passage. They are made even more sacred when guests are there as mindful witnesses, whether they are giving a reading, singing a song, or simply witnessing through their quiet, respectful presence. It’s a role, though silent, that shouldn’t be underestimated.
Veronika Robinson is a celebrant who officiates weddings and Celtic handfastings, funerals, namings, housewarmings, blessingways, and other rites of passage, such as New to the Moon (menarche) and Creative Crone (menopause). She has had the honour of officiating ceremonies since 1995. www.veronikarobinson.com/celebrant She is available throughout Cumbria, north Lancashire and Yorkshire, and Southern Scotland (to within 100 miles of Penrith).
A little bit of love that I left on my husband’s wood-chopping block.
https://veronikarobinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/katie-ryan-8.jpg265265Veronika Sophia Robinsonhttps://veronikarobinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/logo-1.pngVeronika Sophia Robinson2016-07-24 14:24:142018-03-23 14:11:14The Power of Ceremony
This week is Womb Awareness Week. If you don’t already, maybe this is a good time to develop some healthy and healing rituals around your body.
Cycle to the Moon: celebrating the menstrual trinity of menarche, menstruation and menopause, is my contribution to female health. Pick yourself up a copy on Amazon, or ask your local library to stock copies.
This book is based on workshops I’ve facilitated called Cycle to the Moon & Sacred Cycle. It is designed to help you explore your beliefs around your body and its cycles regardless of where you are on the menstrual trinity, as well as giving helpful tips and practical advice to make your experiences around Moon Blood more comfortable and enjoyable. Don’t forget to leave a review on Amazon or Good Reads.
What does family mean to you? This is the question that is asked in my new novel, Sisters of the Silver Moon. Can you get by without family? Is there more to a relationship than blood?
It’s out now! You can get your paperback copy from Amazon’s Create Space, Kindle or signed copies from my website (the signed copies will be available in about a week, but you can pre-order now).
I loved writing this book. Here’s a description:
Azaria Linden, the community herbalist, spends her days tending herb gardens, concocting lotions, potions and tinctures, beekeeping, and being a mother to four grown-up daughters who have left home. Her handcrafted life is the envy of many, but when the lives of her children change in dramatic ways, she wonders if she can keep it all together. Is it possible to still live a heart-centred life when everything around you is falling apart?
Sisters of the Silver Moon
Pbk and Kindle
As an independent author, it would mean a great deal to me if you could take time to leave a review of my book (or any of my books) on Amazon, or on your blog. Thank you!
Meanwhile, I’m writing book 2 in the trilogy. I’m so honoured to have such beautiful artwork by Sara Simon. ~ Veronika
https://veronikarobinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/logo-1.png00Veronika Sophia Robinsonhttps://veronikarobinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/logo-1.pngVeronika Sophia Robinson2015-06-24 08:22:092015-06-24 08:22:09Sisters of the Silver Moon (book one in the Gypsy Moon trilogy)
I had expected to sleep in this morning, being Sunday and all. That was the delicious plan; the promise I made to my muscles, all weary from four consecutive days using the rowing machine at the gym. But no. The muse had other ideas.
This week my mind has been filled with the final stages of my non-fiction book Cycle to the Moon: celebrating the menstrual trinity ~ menarche, menstruation and menopause. I am so grateful that after all these years I have finally found an artist to illustrate this book/journal. I feel it is such an important topic, and that anything I can add to the body of literature which breaks the taboo around our bleeding time, all the better.
What I didn’t plan or expect was that a second book on this topic would emerge. I awoke at first light…with the seed of an idea for a novel germinating. I know from experience that it can be one of the best times of the day to ‘craft’ a novel. The conscious mind isn’t getting in the way too much, and dreams and whispers bubble up to the surface like spring water rising from Mother Earth. I let this bathe me, the ideas flitting in here and there, nourishing my soul.
I stayed warm under the duvet letting the ideas grow. I’d write them down later. Inner muse wasn’t having any part of that. Those sisters of the sacred Moon don’t have time! Get up and tell our story, they demand, hands on their hips. Okay, okay. They must have conspired with William, our cat, (darn witches!) for he insisted on standing outside my bedroom miaowing non-stop until I let him in. No chance of going back to bed now!
There is something about this novel that is really exciting me. Perhaps it’s the way the ideas are emerging that shows me it will reach and touch the hearts of both mainstream women and those who walk a path rather similar to mine. At least, that’s how the characters are selling it to me! (laughing)
Dawn has broken over this beautiful morning. The birdsong is exquisite, the sunlight is bathing the lush green fields and leafy trees with a promise. I have been given another gift. A book begins to gestate in my heart, and for this I give thanks.
And that’s what it’s like being a writer. You’re nothing more than a puppet on a string being told what to do by your characters. So today, the Moon is in Aries in my fifth house of creativity. On Tuesday morning (7.14 UK time), there is a solar eclipse in Taurus lighting up my sixth house of day-to-day work. I guess I could be writing rather intensively for a good while. See you on the other side!