The other day I watched a beautiful wedding ceremony. The bride was gorgeous. Naturally gorgeous. The venue was stunning. What struck me, though, was the sheer terror on her face. My heart clenched. I just wanted to ease that fear from every cell of her body.

There are countless reasons why a bride (or groom) might be nervous: fear of public speaking; the realisation of the huge commitment being undertaken; fear of vows before an almighty God, shyness…just to name a few.

As with anything in life that sets our nerves racing, they can be an indication of a warning, or that we’re about to embark on something that’s hugely important to us and that can feel like a life or death situation.



I knew someone once who was so nervous and stressed about her wedding day that by the time that amazing day came her whole face (not just her lip) was covered in cold sores. There’s no amount of make-up that can hide that.

Our body is constantly talking to us. Listen to what your nerves are telling you. Don’t fight the fear, but go within and listen. Listen carefully. A wedding is, to use a cliché, the most important day of our lives. Well, frankly, that’s enough to scare any person. But does it have to be like this? Is it possible we put too much into a wedding day, in terms of preparation, and then become burnt out? Have we exaggerated the wedding day out of all proportion compared to the many years of marriage which lie ahead?

If you’re scared of saying your vows in front of a crowd, remember this: your guests love and value you; that’s why they’re there. They just want to be part of your beautiful day. For them, it’s an honour to witness this rite of passage. I promise, they’ll not be giving you a score out of ten on how well you speak.

If you genuinely love your partner, and they love you, that love will carry you through the best of times and the worst of times. You can rely on it. Always be kind to each other. Everything else will fall into place.



Here are some tips for managing nerves:

[] Breathe deeply. Get into the habit of stopping what you’re doing and allowing yourself to breathe in deeply for five to ten seconds. Hold for a few seconds, then release the nerves to an out-breath of several seconds. Do this at least ten times, but twenty or more will really help you to settle down.

[] In the weeks leading up to your wedding, spend as much time as you can walking barefoot upon grass, sand or dirt. Do this for at least half an hour. Earthing is a wonderful way to realign yourself.

[] Cut out stimulants for a while, such as coffee, chocolate, tea, sugar, and so on.

[] Visualise your wedding day (and marriage) being calm, gentle, beautiful, loving and smooth. CREATE the day and life that you want for yourself. We get what we focus on.

[] Hug a tree. No, I’m not joking. Scientific studies show that tree huggers are calmer people.

[] Get into the habit of using magnesium transdermally (through the skin). It’s eight times more absorbent this way than through food or supplements, and you can’t overdose this way (or get runny poos!) Magnesium is like a master class in Zen for the cells of the body. It’s such a vital nutrient, and vital for over 300 biochemical processes in the body. Try the Better You magnesium flakes, and mix half flakes with half water, and spray liberally onto your skin at least twice a day. You could also try Floatation Therapy (Calico Health and Wellbeing, Plumpton, near Penrith, Cumbria, has the only float tank in the north of England). This is a restorative and calming way to ease your tensions.

[] Invest in a good-quality vitamin B complex. It is vital for the nervous system.

[] Imagine yourself with roots growing out of your feet deep down into the Earth. Feel yourself anchored securely in Mother Earth. Give thanks for that nourishment. Imagine a beautiful light flowing from the crown of your head and reaching to the stars.

“You are a child of the Universe. You have a right to be here.”

I wish you calm on your wedding day, and I trust the breeze will blow those pesky nerves away.

Veronika Robinson has been officiating weddings since 1995. She trained at Unity Church in Auckland, New Zealand, and was authorised to conduct legal weddings under the New Thought Ministries umbrella. She has a deep love of the sacred, and derives great joy from creating, writing and officiating ceremonies for people. She specialises in handfastings, but is equally at home conducting more formal weddings, as well as namings, blessingways, vow renewals and funerals. Veronika officiates ceremonies throughout Cumbria, northern Lancashire and Southern Scotland.

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